There are really two sides to the divorce process; the human emotional side and the formal legal side.
Different coping strategies and skills are appropriate to address each of these aspects of divorce.
Divorce can trigger all sorts of unsettling, uncomfortable and frightening feelings, thoughts and emotions, including grief, loneliness, depression, despair, guilt, frustration, anxiety, anger, and devastation, to name a few.
There is frequently sadness and grief at the thought of the end of a significant relationship.
Divorce is generally a stressful and unsettling event.
At minimum, a major relationship is ending, all sorts of routines are upset, and in the midst of the stress of transition there are legal hoops to jump through before things can be resolved.
There can be fear at the prospect of being single again, possibly for a long time (or even forever), and with having to cope with changed financial, living and social circumstances.
There can be anger at a partner's stubborn obstinacy and pettiness, abuse, or outright betrayal.The dialog between numb and upset continues over time as the person emotionally digests the nature of the loss.Ultimately, enough time passes that the loss comes to be thought of as something that happened in the past, and that is not a part of day-to-day life.Different people take different amounts of time to go through their grief process and express their grief with different intensities of emotion.The amount of time people spend grieving depends on their personalities, and on the nature of their losses.It is not realistic that grief over a lost marriage should be worked out in a month or even several months.