They often do not realize that he is thinking the same thing.
I have had countless experiences when a friend points out that cute guy from her economics class whom she’s been dying to talk to, or that blond on the dance floor whom she wants to hook up with that night.
Yet whenever I suggest that she walk over and talk to him, the usual response is along the lines of, “No way, I’m too awkward” or, “Maybe after a few more drinks.” Since it is not the norm or expectation for women to approach men, many women hesitate to do so.
Pluralistic ignorance occurs when people in a group situation act like they believe one thing while they think another.
As a result, they all go along with the group and hesitate to express what they are actually thinking because they incorrectly believe that everyone else feels differently.
But, as exemplified by cases like my friend’s, we may all be better off if we change this norm.
Attraction to the opposite sex, obviously, is not one-way.A male friend once told me that he never goes home with girls who hit on him at parties.When I asked why, I anticipated a slut-shaming answer.So ladies, when you see that cute guy at a party, do not wait until you are drunk to start a conversation with him.Defy the gender-based heterosexual dating scripts, break the pluralistic ignorance and go get ’em.But I would like to focus on the moment that prefaces any romantic and sexual relationship: the approach.